Wednesday, November 29, 2006

and life goes on....!!


A woman is flying on a jumbo-jet to Europe. After they get up in the air the loudspeaker comes on:

"This is your captain Emilia Rodrigues. We are cruising at 35,000 feet .. etc. etc."

When the announcement is finished the woman passenger beckons to a stewardess and asks, "Is it really true that this great big airplane is being flown by a woman?"

"Yes, says the stewardess, Captain Rodrigues is a woman."

"How wonderful! I am so excited! Do you think you can arrange for me to go up to the cockpit to congratulate her?"

"Yes, I think I can arrange that. You might also like to know that the co-pilot is also a woman."

"Oh, how exciting. This is wonderful news! Please let me go to the cockpit so I can congratulate them both!"

"OK, you can do that. You might like to know that actually the entire crew of this plane are women."

"That is the most exciting thing I have heard in a long time ... this has really made my day ... I just have to go to the cockpit to express my admiration!"

"One more thing you might like to know ... we don't call it the cockpit any more."

Scene 1
Location- some where within the neat interiors of Media space- a Media planning agency

Hey did you hear that......

Whats the news?......

Kyonki maaji bhi kabhi beti thi in Moon tv is getting a TRP rating of 15 in HSM...is it not news..?

Oh that is a news..but how..?

They have made an image make over of Laxmy the heroine..now she will no longer be the poor ,ever suffering bahu..she will stand up and speak up...

Like the Judwaa bahen Hema malini in Geetha aur seetha..?

It is what the Bony Tv guys also did some time back and we were a happy lot then ....said someone

That is when we had bought bulk of their space which they had to sell..here it is not the case...

Yes and moreover we have heavily invested on Kahani tere ghar ki trusting the upswing TRP had shown then....it had reached 11 million people that gleeful wednesday night when Raaj agnihotri was ressurected from his grave.....

And now this K Soap is reaching 13 million, yesterday night....

My oh my...what a blunder....we have got space everywhere..in Big ass in Bony tv, Open sesame in Q Tv...every damn place except this $%^* ing soap.....

Now let us hope that KTGK will do some gimmick to save us...some deadbody walking in or the heroine getting a facelift or the Maaji becoming the Villian suddenly....

Scene 2

Location- Moon TV office..the crew, the programme producers,directors and others behind the channel and KMBKBT.......

Hurray.!!!...wine glasses go up on air and come down......

I never thought that this idea is gonna work...Laxmy could suddenly made to look sturdy and strong...

Her oily hair have gone ,her specs have dissappeared, her attire is trendy and her attitude is firebrand....

The 'all new improved Laxmy'.....

Yeh sirf Laxmy ka hi kamal nahim hai bhaiyya....it is the money which we spend on promos..... the constant bugging with which we told them that the new Laxmy is coming ......

Open any of our channels ,we were their telling them the change....

Whatever ....the trick is done....now the job is to maintain the interest.....

Aha...that is not that easy my brother....unless we decide to repeat the gimmick again....

We will make Laxmy a vamp... and make the Saasji, suddenly a Sati savitri...

And we will kill Madhu Verma..Laxmys husband...

Killing has two advantages...we can get the TRP souring and the sympathy and tears that are bound to flow... and later if needed we can make the guy come back, saying he hadnt died ...he had an amnesia and lost his way.....

The Idiots glued on to the boxes would buy anything..let us be sure about that....

Hahahahahahaha.....

Three cheers to Laxmy !!!

Scene 3

The producer Ms Sangita kapoor giving a speech during Indian television academy award function where they voted KMBKBT as the most popular soap of the year...

........Soap characters are like every day people, except that they are fictional. Soap people never age, or they age very rapidly,as in one night we made a laep of 18 years.....where children are children one day and teenagers the next!! Characters are always perfectly dressed, with perfect hair, perfect clothes, and perfect jobs,even while they are in their toilets..... where the money never runs out, where tears flow and rule and still make up remains intact as would ornaments pledged by a drunkard!...it takes you from an arc to another one...story lines and sub story lines, and charectors coming in and out, and their lives ,their wives, their inlaws and by the time you start to forget the main line we jump back only to jump out again....It is like God....where to start, where to end...good God..life is such a tale with such mysterious ends....!!!

Thank you for the award..let me promise you that I will keep coming for the next 5o years to accept this award...

May God Bless you!!

Last shot :- "What's wonderful about soap audiences is that they are unrelentingly forgiving. They have a fabulous capacity to treat you like a family member who has done wrong for a couple of years but has got his s&*t together."

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